


Light in the Dark

by Demon_Apostle



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, M/M, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 21:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8118511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demon_Apostle/pseuds/Demon_Apostle
Summary: Hanzo finds out the dark isn't very kind.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, this is actually the shortest fanfic I've written but that's what I wanted, something short and sweet without the sweet. This idea just popped into my head and is based off of personal experiences.
> 
> I own nothing.

Hanzo has learned how awful nights can be. How malicious and unforgiving the blackness that surrounds him truly is and how cold he ends up feeling afterwards, even as the sun tries so hard to warm his skin. Through his years of living, he has associated the dark with two things: comfort and fear. The archer had always loved the dark, preferred the blanket of blackness to a blinding light in his eyes. It wasn't like an assassin moved with a light shining on him anyway so he learned quickly just how useful the dark can be. That was his comfort, knowing the darkness would keep him hidden from enemy eyes and helped him stay alive.

 

He soon realized that the dark didn't take sides.

 

It also helped those who would seek to kill Hanzo get just close enough that he was sure the enemy who came for his head would succeed. His training was what kept him alive in those moments and for once, he would curse the darkness as if it had betrayed him. As if it had a conscience and would feel guilty for letting someone come so close to killing Hanzo. Though if the darkness actually had a personality, then the archer thinks it wouldn't take so kindly to his curses and shouting.

 

Here is where he learns just how frightening the dark can be.

 

Silly nightmares had never really bothered Hanzo. He knew they weren't real and could easily brush them off like they were simply grains of sand on his clothes. Memories, on the other hand, was something only the dark could use against him and it did so brutally and in the most effective way.

 

It's only during the night that Hanzo begins to feel like the darkness is trying to hurt him. When he's alone and vulnerable, guard dropped thinking he has nothing to worry about for the night, it strikes and makes him remember. Everything he loves about the dark fades and has left an empty feeling as it attacks his core.

 

It makes him remember so much and he feels nothing but worthless, empty. The past is dug up and thrust into his face, showing Hanzo all of his mistakes and poor choices. It always seems to start with the failure of making his father happy. It was truly a regret he could never purge, watching as his father wondered why his son was so weak and sloppy with his training. Hanzo tried, he really did, but it was never good enough.

 

His feet weren't in the right position.

 

He acted too fast when he should have waited.

 

His stance was slouched forward when his back should have been straight.

 

He let his feelings sway him too easily.

 

Nothing was ever good enough and Hanzo felt the affects immensely as his father looked upon him with disappointment. What a worthless son Hanzo truly was if he couldn't even please the man raising him.

 

But the memories continue, flooding his mind and creating their own world as he breaks down even more, little by little as he's consumed. His father is then replaced with another, maybe an instructor he failed to listen to, or a servant he ended up hurting with harsh words. It's always someone different but most of the time, he sees Genji looking at him with a scowl and wondering why his brother is so useless.

 

Hanzo ends up wondering the same.

 

Although the people he remembers may be different, his thoughts always end up the same. He is worthless, pathetic, useless, pitiful, and unworthy of forgiveness no matter how much he suffers. He sits in the once comfortable darkness feeling like he shouldn't even exist and wonders if he should even bother anymore.

 

Hanzo is always alone on those nights, the darkness taking advantage and making sure he doesn't have a way to receive help from those outside of their world it creates. Hanzo doesn't try to seek someone anyway, knowing this is what he deserves. The archer deserves feeling like a meaningless existence so he doesn't need anyone coming to help him.

 

Yet they do. People do come to help, including those he let down. Genji comes to him, not with a scowl but an extended hand. Angela approaches him, not with reprimanding words but a gentle welcome. Jack praises him for his efforts instead of pointing out everything wrong with Hanzo's stances and reactions.

 

McCree does all that and more, treating Hanzo like he's a godsend long before he finds out about the pain brought by the dark. Hanzo had always been alone for those nights, and a lucky chance of McCree walking in to see the archer sat on his bed and staring into the blackness with tears in his eyes nearly stops them completely. Now when the darkness tries hurting him again, the cowboy is there with praises instead of insults, love instead of disdain and even though Hanzo thinks he isn't worthy of such affection, he can't help but drink in that which was never given to him. The gesture is sometimes returned, when even McCree is targeted by his own memories and attacked like Hanzo is, and the archer realizes just how painful it is to watch someone you care about become afraid of the dark like a child. When they become afraid of monsters that aren't in the closet but their minds. Past existences that curse their lives and spout venom with every accusation.

 

Hanzo had both loved yet feared the darkness that hurt him more than it helped. That hurt McCree more than he had even deserved because the cowboy had already been dragged through the mud enough. He is dirty with blood and regret so he's suffered enough. And on a night where moonlight lights up their room, Hanzo thinks maybe he has as well. They've both suffered for their actions many times over, so he thinks for once, they could use a bit of light filtering in and destroying the dark.


End file.
